I can’t sleep.
i was tired.
it has been long hard week, but i just got an e-mail that has me excited like a nine year old the night before her big birthday party…
Michael (my love) has been away this week, missing him makes me nuts, so i buried myself in the most physical task I could think of (re-painting the kitchen – cupboards and all) which included making friends with the ladder – we seem to understand each other now, and i didn’t have to fall to learn.
but that is not why i cannot sleep –
When we met it didn’t make sense for us to be in a relationship with each other, he lived in another province, i have kids and an ex-husband circus among other complications, which for some reason we just ignored. Within a month of meeting, i packed my things, leaving my kids behind i went to be handfasted to this man under the full moon over Tulbagh, in a 200 year old house, it was beautiful.
Except we were so broke! There was nothing to do but make music, talk, make love, and make music. Unless you’re one of our tribe that probably sounds boring, but for me it was ideal, challenging and amazing. This was June 2009 – for us we have been married all this time, but as unenlightened or old fashioned or just plain stupid as it seems, we’re going to make it legal – this idea up til now i’ve known is the right one for us, but one i have not been able to get excited about – then Bam! it hits me – i get a clear picture of what i want, now the rest is a matter of attraction… Happy!
Today by internetintuition i was led to contact someone who will handfast us legally in our home, just as we dream the expression of our promise to be. Not only was i led to her, but she is available for the day we intend to make it legal, and she speaks my language, which has me buzzing through the million things i want to pull together before April… Don’t look now Nicole, but you have started to plan this wedding, yes, that’s right, you’re really doing this! (mind kicking into high gear, goodbye Morpheus see you next time;)
although i have been married before, even “married” to Michael before i actually feel like a bride for the first time – a bride in desperate need of a wedding dress…