Since this experiment started I have observed with interest what it takes to inform my blog, how much reading, conversing, how much life living it takes to filter into a post. How it all has to mix, and brew, settle, and then flow out into a stream from my head, through my heart, over my fingers and into the cloud… It feels like magic sometimes, both black and white.
This was my last weekend as an unmarried woman, I spent it mostly in the company of new friends and my family – it has been emotional. My cousin is leaving for England in 11 days, Sunday we had a farewell gathering. I didn’t expect to feel as heavy in my heart as I did when I left. The feeling still sits there, as I type this. He has been like an older brother to me in many ways, the place I would run to when life and love were being rude with me, I will miss him more than I can express. (The mirth of his laughter ringing in my ears, and the warmth of his hugs in my chest)
The wedding is six days away. The paper work is 90% done, the Ceremony is outlined and approved, my dress is ready, I hope the weather will play along, and let us hold the ceremony outside (it has been raining a fair bit lately) whatever it will be, will be, and it feels good to be in a state of surrender about it. There is still work to do, I have the unity circle marriage certificate to write, the feather arrangements to make for Darcy, Claire and myself, while I entertain the idea of baking a simple wedding cake… We’ll see.
Today I visit little Jasmine, she’ll be coming home in a week or so, today I’ll know for sure. Even knowing I’m going to see her cannot lift the sadness on my chest – so here I leave you – Lightly updated. (love)