My husband and I have completely different opinions about keeping data…He is the guy who has backups of his backups (he once “lost” an almost complete book he was writing, I don’t think he ever recovered), I on the other hand had my first data misadventure yesterday.
I recently “cleaned up” my MacBook, clearing the photos, videos and music to a memory stick/flash drive . Jasmine fished my stationery out of my laptop bag. She chewed a big hole into the side of the denim case, spilling the contents on the lawn. She splintered my orange and brown pens, the little USB plug for my mouse (now useless) and turned the memory stick into bits of bent metal and shards of plastic (it took a while before I figured out just what it was). The price of owning a Bullterrier (but that is a whole other blog post).
I don’t even remember everything that was on that memory stick, and a small part of me wishes I had made a backup of my backup… Then I remember what I know. Nothing can be “yours” so nothing can be “lost”. The photos and videos were made of experiences I had, meaning, I have actual memories that nothing but death or dementia can erase from my being…the music…ah well…music comes, and it goes.
What surprised even me, was my calm response. My daughter was on the look out for the melt down/rage episode, her shoulders tense, eyes fixed on my face as I picked little bits of plastic and metal off the lawn. Afterward, confused, she asked me why I didn’t care about what had just happened. I took a deep breath, and thought about the horrible implications of her question as I exhaled. Have I taught my daughter that anger is how we express that we care? I told her I did care, but, I guess that the grounding of prayer and self blessing, speaking up for myself when my feelings get hurt, and the commitment to reducing the levels of violence in my life are starting to pay dividends.
As a result of not overreacting to the dog doing what dogs do I have serenity, and the energy to make more videos and music, all the while collecting the inevitable image gallery that goes along with having an 8MP camera almost always at hand (thank you apple). Moreover, I think it’s time to clear away the things I have not used (despite my best intentions), to make space for the new… (I’m convinced my circadian rhythms are set for the Northern Hemisphere – I am about to start Spring cleaning?!)
I acknowledge and accept the challenge of modeling better behavior for my daughter . (Thank you broken memory stick, and the week that led me to see the change that is taking place in me!)
with love from a determined heart x