About 10 days ago i decided to cut down my consumption of meat dramatically. Part of the self care journey i’ve recently been on has me looking back on my instincts and preferences as a kid that were not supported or validated by my family or environment. There were no vegetarians in our family so when i would prefer not to eat meat or eggs i was punished. Nagged. Bribed. Forced to ingest what was put on my plate. Every day meat was part of the faire as often as at every meal. i picked up the pattern.
Over the two decades that meal size, timing, and content has been almost entirely up to me, i have mindlessly followed this pattern. we do as we always have it seems. i’m trying to find a way to let go of the anger that i feel about not doing what i want in something that is so easy and entirely up to me. Grappling with the fact that what has been stopping me in part is that for most people these kinds of food choices are a political act, but, for me it’s about getting back to what i liked when i was 3 (the last time i remember feeling completely serene. Happy in my body. Vibrant with energy – if we’re going to do inner child work can it be this please?).